Past Present Fun and Wars
by Luna Yui
Summary: Two HP Love birds get sent into the past this results in one accustion and an all out war between Father & Son and Mother & G/F and Soon Dumbledors..(R for homosexual relastionship and hard language) (Third Genre possible Action)
1. Transportation

Chapter 1: The Transportation  
  
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley sat in the Gryffindor common room around a small cauldron watching Hermione Granger stir the contents carefully. "Why make a potion if you don't know what it does?" Complained Ron scratching the side of his head. " It's for an extra mark from Snape he said it didn't do much damage and to test before handing it in." Replied Hermione adding a couple snow herbs to the now simmering purple substance. "Who are you testing it on Mione?" Asked Harry joining the conversation from his favorite chair. Hermione blushed a bit and looked down. "Well" she said quietly.. "Great I get to be a test mous"...Said Harry sarcasticly. "lol be glad she's good at potions remember when I got you to try my Dreamless potion but you ended up insomniac for a week?" Said Ron leaning back against the wall. "Don't even think of reminding me again" responded Harry scratching his head.  
  
They sat in silence for another few minutes before Hermione filled two cups of the potion and handed one to Harry. "O.k it's finished lets drink" she said holding her own cup in the air. "God help me" said Harry smiling lightly taking down the full contents of his glass to seconds after Hermione did.  
  
Everything seemed to happen at once, Harry felt the same feeling he got when transporting by port key. Everything began to spin in a counter clock wise next thing he knew he was lying in front of the school beside Hermione. "Interesting" said Hermione getting up and brushing off her robes. "Very" replied Harry standing up not even taking notice to his robes. "Well that takes care of Ron" said Hermione pulling Harry into an intimate hug. " We have to tell him one day" whispered Harry leaning his head onto Hermione's shoulder. "We will but not until we know he'll handle it well" responded Hermione rubbing the back of Harry's head. They stayed like that for several minutes before coming together in a small kiss.  
  
Lily Evans walked out of Hogwarts looking for James.. Probably at the Quidditch pitch .. She thought to her self before coming to a rather stunning scence.. Right infront of her was her James eyes closed kissing some broad brunette.. She didn't even need to say anything she knew exactly what was happening she just turned around and walked right back toward the Gryffindor common room. "Lily wait up hun!" Lily turned around and saw that terrible Potter heading toward her. "What do you want?" She asked sticking her nose up in the air. James knew that face all to well he did something huge..Only problem was what did he do? "Lil"? He asked in his confused face. Lily just flung her red hair behind her shoulders and stood her ground. "How long has this been going on? I know about your little affair I won't stand for it James Potter do me a favor and FUCK OFF!!!" With those words Lily turned around and headed towards Gryffindor common room... "Affair? Mesa very confused" James turned around to face three angry looking Marduars.. "Don't tell me" said James depressed "I cheated on you to and no body told me"... Siris went to say something but got cut off when Hermione entered the school and walked right passed them.. "Wow"... Said Lupin turning around to watch Hermione turn the corner. "Holy shit Remus that girl was holding more books then you and she was hot.." Said James crossing his arms.. I can't take it anymore who the fuck does Lily think I was snogging? Thought James turning and walking away..  
  
Back in the common room Lily was absolutely fuming in one of the big red chairs when Hermione walked in. "Hey Ginny wassup?" She said sitting across from the clearly pissed off Red head. "Exuse me?" Said Lily looking rather puzzled. "Gin you o.k it's almost as if you don't know who you are.." Replied Hermione "Um I know exactly who I am I'm Lily Evans and you're that bitch who was just snogging the shit out of that good for nothing James Potter who thinks he can crawl around Hogwarts like a snake".. Said Lily just about ready to slap Hermione.  
  
Hermione stared in awe when the thought struck her... "Holy shit man I wasn't kissing your boy friend I was kissing your son!!" She said almost in fits of laughter . "My son?" said Lily rather confused.. It didn't take long for Hermione to tell the story of there potion sending them to the past and therefore decided to have a little fun with the two Potter boys. "Remember Lil Harry has green eyes so when your around him your name is Ginny". Said Hermione. Lily stood from her chair and said.. "Lets go look for James I'm pretty sure he's in the great hall eating lunch after our little show all the guys will be wanting to eat a lot more." With those words both Lily and Hermione set toward the great hall little did they know soon it would be an all out war between the sexes.  
  
A/N: That's it for the first chapter your probably wondering why R rated.. Well in later chapters there's gonna be a lot more swearing more descriptive jokes and Homosexual slash. (Won't tell you who keep reading) If you have problems with this I advise you stop reading after this chapter!!!! Please Review and thanks to all who managed to read this far with throwing there cpu out the window!!  
  
SAYANORA!!!  
  
Luna.. 


	2. War Begins

Chapter 2: War begins.  
  
James sat at the Gryffindor table lazily playing with his spaghetti when Lily and Hermione came in and sat on both sides of him. "Hey James I'm so sorry about my blow up, Hermione just told me how hard it is to be torn between the love of two lovely ladies that you would give up anything for." Said Lily in a seductive voice rather to close to James' ear why'll drapping one leg over James' leg. "Oh yes" said Hermione putting one of her legs over James' other leg in her own seductive voice. " Our James finds it so hard why don't we make is easier for him mmmm Lil?" James just sat there turning ever so red.. "Whats wrong James? Uncomfortable don't be I we don't mind we like each other just as much as any other guy likes us girls.." Said Lily licking her lips.. All the other guys were watching James in pure envy all exept Remus who was eyeing Hermione rather fondly ..  
  
After dinner James and a lot of other guys went strait up to the bathrooms to take a really cold shower most of the guys used freezing charms on the water.. Which left the field open for Lily and Hermione to play with Harry . Harry was sitting by the lake he was skipping rocks when a small red head sat beside him. "Hey Ginny" said Harry skipping another rock. "Oh Harry I'm so glad you're here I need someone as hard er..strong as you to help me." Said Lily in a small helpless voice.. "What is it Gin?" Asked Harry turning his head to look at the red head.. Lily once again flipped her red hair over her shoulder. "Well see there's this guy who's really hot and well really smart he carries as many books as Hermione and well fancies her for her intellect and out going ness I wan't you to mark your territory." Said Lily.. "This is your big favor you want me to kick some guys sorry ass because he thinks he's good enough to bag my Hermione with a couple books she's most likely already read?" Replied Harry "that'll be the day Prof Snape fucks a pig on my uncles front lawn.. I wonder how many times that thoughts been considered in his over greasy head matching his over greasy ego.." Lily sat a little dumfounded but stood up anyway to make her leave. "Well Harry o.k have it your way but when Hermione is found in a broom closet with another boy a bundle of books and a 'special' toy don't come crying to me POTHEAD!!" She said stomping her foot and walking away..  
  
Lily walked up to the castle and met Hermione "Mione we have a problem Harry doesn't crack as easy as James he gets his intellect and convincing standard from me!" She said.. Hermione just shook her head "I warned you Lil now listen I have a plan that'll put Harry barrying his nuts because when were threw he won't need them!! Wait what the fuck am I saying man that means no more sex o.kay we go easy on Harry." She said holding Ginny's hand leading her to the common room..  
  
James who saw the whole scenario rubbed his hands together.. "You like games huh girls." He said to him self "well we'll just see who's laughing last when me and Harry are through.Now I just need to find out who the hell Harry is." It didn't take long for James to see his exact double was sitting by the lake.. "What the fuck?" Asked James to himself.. "James who the fuck you talking to man?" James turned around to see Sirius and Remus standing behind him.. "Look bye the lake guys" said James.. On cue both Sirius and Remus stated there disbelieve at who was sitting at the lake. "Holy shit" they both stated at the exact same time.. "I know" said James "this is impossible or is it.." With those words the trio made there way to the lake..  
  
"Exuse me is your name Harry?" Harry turned around and was instantly shocked his double was standing right behind him.. "Ya that's me Harry Potter you must be me er I think and holy fuck I'm a twin..Wow Dumbledor has a hell of a lot of explaining to do this time..Wait your eyes are a different color and I know those two..HOLY FUCK I'M NOT AT HOME I'M IN THE PAST!!!" He said.. "Whoa calm down cowboy what do you mean your in the past"? Asked Remus "Well me and girl friend Hermione took a potion and we thought it took us from the common room to the front of the castle but it appears were now in the past considering I'm face to face with my father." ..The Trio looked pretty much as dumbfounded as Harry five minutes earlier when Sirius spoke up. "That explains a lot gentlemen I believe we owe Harry a news update."  
  
Everything was set Harry was now aware of Hermione's and Lily's plan and James and the Marduars + Harry were devising there own plan. "So let me get this strait I have to saduce my own mother why'll you and Remus play with Hermione's head?" Said Harry to James.. "Yup" said James "but you'll be calling Lily Ginny like you pointed out so that they don't know that we know about them trying to play with us infact I loved to idea so much I've decided this isn't a fucked up dream and that you're a real Potter and if I ever have a kid he's being named after me!!" Said James "Trust me you have named me after you my full name is Harry James Potter.." Said Harry . "Oh how the things said now can effect the future so.." Replied James putting one arm around Harry "I raised you well.." Harry couldn't say anything he fealt terrible because he knew that his mother and father had not raised him so he just smiled weekly.  
  
A/N: Well second chapter here by finished once again rated R for obvious reasons so please stop reading if you find any of this offensive.. Future Homosexual slash as another warning.. Special Thanks to my first reviewer yesi!! Thanks to all who atleast skimmed this far with out throwing there cpu out the window in disgust.. (Warning: Will be future OOTP Spoilers and story line will steal lines from Friends.Please stop reading if you do not approve!)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything exept the plot although as said above a few lines will be used from Friends.  
  
Stay tuned for Chapter three!!  
  
SAYANORA!!!  
  
Luna... 


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